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7:30 PM

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  • Music: Sway -- Julie London
Bah. I didn't check for when my last entry was but if it's reflective of any real work I've done on my website it's been more than a year. O.o

Spent the last hour finishing the thumbs and new post doohickeyness for the Gargoyles gallery. Next I'll work on HTML for it. What I really should be doing is some sort of construction graphic. Now...I did one awhile back but it was so bad we're just going to pretend it didn't happen.

Oh, I did put up new art but it's only linked on the news page 'cause seriously if I don't run w/what I'm working on right now I'll get all distracted and lost.

My life is still pretty messy. I've spent the last 2 years exhausted and it's put me in a bad place. I hardly ever draw (though currently I have two things in progress, if that counts.)

Photoshop 7  is not my friend. In fact I hate it. I'll at some point try to figure it out again (or spend some more time trying to figure it out to be more accurate.) I'm back to 5. And that's fine except I can't even begin to do w/it what I used to due to lack of practice and the fact that I don't get along w/my own hardware.

I'm also curious about polymer sculpture, stuff on the way. But not enough stuff to try what I want to try. This is probably a good thing.

In other news...feh, I lost track editing that last sentence. Oh yeah, I've pretty much given up on LJ. I still lurk in a couple of communities (not a member, just a leech) but really my "friends" there have either quit or have quotes around their status. It's a self-centered place, LJ and frankly once I ran out of self-centered momentum I lost interest fast. I still have 5 months on my paid account and maybe things will change between now than then but honestly nobody misses me and I really don't miss anybody. (Ok...that's a lie. I terribly miss 3 people.)

Checked off of the "always wanted" list is an acoustic guitar. I am no rock star and am sans skill of any kind (A,D,E changes and the arpeggiation for the intro of Time is Running Out notwithstanding.)

And even with all that...I still miss my ferrets badly enough it's like a knife in my heart. 'Narii's fun and all but she's no ferret.

And speaking of emo and ridiculous: Why is it that Twilight haters have such a huge problem with the sparkling thing but no issue whatsoever with the fact that a vampire in that universe would willingly repeat high school? (Don't get me wrong, I hate the books and I haven't even read them. The first movie has amused the living hell out of me though. I love you! I hate you! I love you! I can't be with you! I love you! You smell like cookies! Get away from me! I love you!)

Anyway, so earlier as I was converting all the old gargy art it hit me again how everything from 2002-2003 is way better than anything after. I peaked 8 years ago? Seriously?

It's made me both want to draw and want to crawl under a rock and die. A little or a lot, I'm not sure. I *need* to get back into the every day grind but there's just no room for it. There wouldn't be even if I hadn't discovered Bloodlines. (Thanks Georg...I think.) Not that I've played in like a week.

'Course instead of babbling here I could be doing something arty. [doesn't post the crazy mental merry-go-round that ensues from obsessive prioritizing.]

Anwyay, part of my trepidation is from the fact that I know trying to nail down something right now is not going to be what it was and that could very well set me back much further. I've got to kick that idea in the teeth, I know. But finishing things is safe. Coloring things is safe. Looking through things I should've finished or redone is safe. Putting pencil to paper right now is not.

Ok. HTML timez nao.
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